As the new college year is fast approaching I thought I'd give all you soon-to-be commuters a concrete list of reasons as to how commuting to college sucks out your absolute soul! As someone who commuted for four years with a 3 hour round trip a day I think I'm allowed to speak on the subject! Here we go!
1. The Time. The extra early mornings and the late evenings. Not tooooooo bad in the Summer-time but actual hell in the Winter.
2. The Rain. We live in Ireland. It rains 87% of the time (I made that statistic up but you catch my drift!). Commuting in the rain will make you want to cry a little river every morning when you open your front door and see God's tears spilling from the sky! :(
3. The People. Commuters are rude. Yes middle-aged man, I'm talking to you! Please let that pregnant lady on the bus first, or you know, just shoulder her out of the way. Asshat.
4. The Driver. Seven times out of Ten your bus driver will be an absolute C U next Tuesday! Can't you see I'm running with all I have to make your bus? Okay, just close the doors in my face. Love you too Bbz.
5. Dependability. Okay, I have an important exam at 11a.m. , I'll get a train at 8a.m. I'll have plenty of time. It usually only takes 90 minutes. Ummm, where's my train? It's 9. 30a.m. Oh Shit.
6. Waiting. Your life is one big wait. Waiting in line, waiting for the bus, waiting for the train. Waiting for the goddamn drivers to switch shifts at the bus depot. That's you 145!!
7. Hygiene. Oh dear God, people of the world, please, please PLEASE, wash yourselves. I do not want to sit behind you and smell your week off of you. Give me strength. I need to peg my nose lest I vomit on the back of your head.
8. Seating arrangements. There's 12 other completely empty seats on the bus. They sit beside you. Do you just want a friend or...? *Puts in headphones and stares out the window*
9. Visitors. You know them. Those people who don't commute. They don't know the rules. They don't know what way to exit and enter the bus. They slow you down and get in your way. But oh they're having a great time! They're having a lovely day out. Idiots.
10. Conversations. Please stop shouting into your phone. If you choose to have your conversations that loudly then be prepared for the eavesdropping that will undoubtedly occur. That;s your own cross to bear.
11. Lack of Spatial awareness. When that dirty stranger brushes off your hand on the luas. Or they kind of sit on you. I can't.
12. Coffee & Potholes. Oh look at my lovely cream blouse. Fuck.
13. Forgotten Headphones. This is the same as torture. Trust me.
14. Children. Loud Children. OH HELL NO! You shall not fucking pass.
15. Sandwiches. Honestly, who told you that you could eat your tuna sandwich on the bus during the morning rush hour. RUDE. And smelly.
16. Foggy windows. Nothing says "Here, have one free Illness!" more than a rainy day and foggy bus windows.
17. Snorters. Those heinous people who make weird noises with their nose juice. You shouldn't be allowed roam the earth.
18. Money. Commuting can be a pretty costly business. I'm so happy to be paying for this beautiful misfortune :(
19. Your Thoughts. You spend most of your commute thinking about all the other things that you could be doing were you not commuting. It's a dog eat dog world out there guys.
(On the plus side, you're more than likely going home to your own cosy bedroom and a warm, home-cooked meal. Rejoice for life's little mercies!)
Let me know if you have any more reasons. Christ on a bike, could there be any more?!
:)
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